neurotwitch

stupid things men say

"We need a new toaster."

"Why?" Stanley asked.

"Here, let me show you." I hold up two pieces of toast, each carbon black on one site, bread white on the other.

"How did this happen?"

Like I stood there with a lighter and carefully burned one side each of two pieces of bread. The toaster, mind you, is almost 20 years old. How did this happen indeed ...

But at least he let me throw away the old one rather than squirreling it away in one of his black holes containing "stuff I might need some day."

He thinks I sabotaged it, maybe not seriously thinking it but the question lurks on the fringes of his mind. Of course, he thinks I sabotaged the 16-year-old Chevy Nova so we could get a new car. He accused me of putting sugar in the gas tank. Again, only fractionally serious about it. It never occured to me to put sugar in the gas tank - if I had known that's all it would've taken to get a new car, I would've done it a long, long time ago.

A trip to Wal-Mart today made very clear to me, yet again, why I prefer to shop online. The Norwalk, CT Wal-Mart employees are certainly nothing like those cheerful souls seen in their tv ads. no sirree. We just have to figure out their Quiet Time - you know, when there are almost no customers.

Stanley has long made it a practice to go to Stew Leonard's (a local dairy/supermarket) about 15 minutes before closing. "They treat you like royalty if you go then," says Stanley. And they do, too - you can give them your list as you walk in the door and have it all packed by the time you reach the checkout counter - they'd probably pack the car too, if they weren't so busy trying to close so they could go home.

Posted by Lee at April 28, 2002 06:04 PM